The Journey

Never say never

17Feb2012

Just now in the shower, a piece of memory suddenly came back to my mind. I find it very funny so decide to blog about it.

In Nov2009 when I was on a mission trip to Cambodia, I visited YWAM Cambodia. We worshiped and had dinner with a bunch of DTS students. That was the first time I heard about “YWAM” and “DTS”, those students shared lots of cool stories and experiences about their school life.

I still remembered clearly, after that visit I said to myself  “this YWAM and DTS seems amazing, but how radical it is to actually go to school for 6 months to learn about God, and those students need to cook and do cleaning! I don’t think I will ever do that.”

Well, I guess never say never, see where I am right now! =)

Oops Martha!

07Feb2012

It was 29Jan Sunday and it was past mid-night, I finished my 2^nd art project and finally got to lie down in bed…

“Dear God, thank you that I finally get to rest…… wait a second!”

It’s the first time in the whole day I pray!??!

I HAVE NOT SPOKEN TO GOD THE WHOLE DAY!

What happened and where has all my time gone?

What did I do that whole day? I could only recall the breakfast and dinner, stayed in the art studio, shower, random stuff….. that’s it.

What’s on my outstanding list? My bible studies, book reading, blogging, updating friends, catch up on my sleep, intercede for items on my prayer lists, and most importantly, SPEND TIME WITH GOD!

I have done none of these. That was the exact life I had in HK – a day went by without even probably spent time with God. Once again God became my lowest priority.

“Oops, I become Martha again!” O_o!!!

Lucky I am aware of this now, so it’s time to learn some time management and self-discipline.

 "Bye-bye sheep"

01Feb2012

Today during Art Track, each of us was assigned a parable in Luke, and we needed to share how we saw God’s character in that parable.

I was reading The Parable of the Lost Sheep in Luke 15:1-7.


Luke 15:3-4 Then Jesus told them this parable: “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? 


If you are the shepherd, will you leave the 99 and go after that 1 lost sheep?


For me, I will totally let that one sheep go, because I still have my ninety-nine.

“Bye-bye sheep!”

But Jesus said that for sure the shepherd would chase after the lost sheep, like that’s the most normal thing in the world.

This parable shows us that God cares about the lost one, He goes where the lost one goes, He will not give up until He finds the lost one.

And it is not only a parable written in the bible. If you are a Christian, let’s think about how you came to Christ.

When I recall the journey how I came to Christ, and all the testimony I have heard how other people came to Christ, we will know that God kept pursuing us until we return to Him. He spent years to sow seed, He put us in different circumstances, He placed different people around us, He showed us miracles, He let us experience Him…… everything He has done was for us to come home.

God is a God who loves and cares for the lost one, and God will not stop pursuing the lost one until He finds him. Wherever the lost one go, God will follow.

His love endures forever.

The Valuable Struggle - The 2 paths

28Jan2012

In the 2^nd week of DTS I was struggling with a series of thoughts, that keep looping and looping and it almost strangled me.

What if God really calls me to be a missionary after 6 months, what should I do?

If I do not follow God’s calling, what could happen, will God punish me?

In order to avoid the chance of disobeying God’s calling, is it better not to find out what is my calling?

YWAM Herrnhut founder Jan shared with us, the enemy of the Best is the Good. But the good life I have back in HK is blessed by God, the very good part of it, is that I already have God and He loved me tremendously already, He loves me regardless of what I do. Then, what am I doing here?

After 10 days I felt that I have changed, what will happen after 6 months?

The thoughts keep looping and looping, lots of tears been shred and I felt that there are 2 paths ahead of me, go back to my old life, or stay in DTS and become a missionary.

I challenged God to give me reassurance and confirmation that, everything will turn out ok after the 6 months, and he answered me. (Read “The Kitchen Challenge” for that story)

But even if God gave me the reassurance, I felt that is not enough! (greedy*!*). Those points in my struggles has not been solved. So I sent an S.O.S emails to my support group in HK.

God has blessed me with personal coaches who witnessed my walk in the past 3 years, they are a lot more mature than me in terms of spiritual or life experience, very soon they pointed out all the loopholes in my thinking.

God’s calling, is about coming to God. If I continue to read on Jeremiah 29:12-13, then I will realize that it's not about His plans being a calling for us to all be missionaries but a call to come to God...and as we seek Him, we will find Him.

And who said there are only 2 paths?! I limited God into a few paths and choices (totally looking down on Him) I can never guess what the plan God has for me is.

And regarding the life in HK, who is to say you can still go back to it? Nothing is guaranteed in this life besides God's love. 

Deep down, do I truly believe God has the best plan for me? That, is faith.

I felt like I have lost the debate, very happily.

And after the whole school laid hands on me (and few other students who also struggle) to pray, I felt that the burden and the struggles has been completely lifted and I was refilled with something new. Luke said he felt that we were not the same compare to 1 hour ago, I totally seconded that!!

So now, I am back on track again and ready to be on the go!

This struggle will be a valuable memory that 6 months from now I look back, perhaps I will laugh.

God’s grace is sufficient for me. 

The kitchen challenge

25Jan2012

During my struggling week, one day I skipped lunch and went crying in the prayer room, I told God I need assurance and confirmation that things are going to be ok after 6 months, that it is ok to stay. I said "Send someone to give me the whole verse of Jeremiah 29:11, then I will know things will be ok."

After that my tear stopped. I checked the watch it’s time to do my work duty, so I went down to the kitchen. My kitchen buddy Glen asked “How is your morning?” Then I shared with him what I am struggling.

Glen and Uriel tried to encouraged me and cheered me up, but we all agreed that only God can give me the answer and I should seek Him. 

Few minutes later, Glen said, “You know there is a verse, something God has a plan for you, not a bad plan…… you know that verse?"

I was in awe, of course I knew what verse he was talking about, but I thought “nah….that doesn't count, that is not the full verse”, and I kept quiet.

Glen “That is in Isaiah, you know.” (me thinking: no that’s not from Isaiah)

Glen’s hand was full of onion, and he said “Let me find that verse for you”, and he went to wash his hand, and went to get out his iPod touch, he found it and read out the whole verse for me, Jeremiah 29:11.

I broke down in tears. (and Glen and Uriel freaked out)

I looked at the clock, that was only 1 hour after I set up that challenge.